Communication is Key! Two Great Case Studies.

One thing I do know is that good communication pays big dividends.

See if you identify with Jack or Lila.

Jack's Personal Challenge:

Jack was always talking before thinking things through thoroughly...like starting a journey without knowing the destination.  As a result he occasionally took his co-workers on 'rabbit hole' routes of conversation; which was becoming increasingly more challenging as part of his job was to work collaboratively with his team on presentations. He would very quickly lose their attention as they were unable to identify which of the seven ideas he mentioned was truly the most important.  He struggled constantly attempting to communicate his great ideas and was clueless as far as how to advocate for himself and get what he needed.

Jack's SOLUTION:

Before going into an important meeting or conversation he would set aside ten minutes to stop and ask himself: "What do I want to achieve?" Once he could pinpoint his desired outcome (the destination) he was better able to outline the ideas and points that support the desired outcome (the path to the destination).  Then, when in meetings and conversations he would have both clear mental notes (and a physical sheet of paper) to use as a guide.

Part of his new strategy to complete the cycle where he may have been impulsive was to pause after a meeting and think about what had happened. Occasionally he felt that he either hadn't understood others or (perhaps) hadn't communicated his own points well enough. He would make a couple of notes and then ask the person for clarification. He would say something like: "I was thinking about our meeting yesterday, and realize that I don't know that I was able to convey my idea/intention effectively."  This opens the door to another conversation and a chance to communicate powerfully.

So the take away is: Before you have an important conversation or go to a meeting, stop and ask yourself “What do I want to happen as a result of having this conversation/meeting?” Once you are clear on what your goal is ( i.e. what you want to accomplish), you can then think about what you need to say and/or ask for in order to get what you want out of it. Aside from that, give yourself permission to go back, communicate and get clarification after the fact.

Lila's Personal Challenge:

Lila would often get so excited about her own ideas and plans that she would frequently interrupt her co-workers when they were speaking.  They felt she didn't value their contributions to the conversation ( which couldn't be farther from the truth) and would often get annoyed and aggravated with her. This was making her feel less than professional and paranoid sometimes.

Lila's SOLUTION:

Reality is, as we said, Lila would get very excited to share her ideas and often wasn't aware that interrupting might be annoying to other people who are trying to speak to her.

She started by developing a bit of a script to use at the beginning of conversations or meetings with her coworkers as a way of advocating for herself:  "I know that I have a tendency to interrupt, and it is never my intention to be rude. Reality is that I really want to hear what you have to say, and sometimes I have a hard time processing the information as quickly as I am hearing it." Lila found that people were generally very responsive to this approach and her working relationships began to improve as she was honest.

Additionally, she began making a conscious effort to allow other people to finish their sentences and ideas. She would watch their mouth and eyes until they finished speaking and then count to three (1 - 2 - 3) before she would speak.  Simple solution for a potentially big and chronic problem.

So the take away is: Make a conscious effort to let other people finish their sentences before you start speaking. Be a good listener, be honest and remember that most of the time you will get your chance to speak in the end.

So these are two great examples of people who wanted to change and were willing to make some simple adaptations to do so. It works!

Have a productive day!

Coach Nancy

Turn Intentions Into Action

Ever feel awful because many of your intentions just seem to be exercises in futility these days? When you make them, you really do intend to follow through but things chronically and consistently get in the way. So many of us are inundated all day ( and night) with things TO DO. Our TO DO lists have to do lists! How are we supposed to dismantle all of this and restore some integrity to our lives here? Here is a suggestion! It is a 7 Step Execution Process for Getting Unblocked, Unfrustrated, Refocused and On Track With Your Life

First, take a nice long, deep breath. Then…

1. Identify the challenges and obstacles that are frustrating you. Write them down.
2. Get crystal clear on the big picture as well as the individual things that are creating it.
3. Concretize what success will look like- goal by goal.
4. Define the concrete steps for getting there-continuously identifying the first step to take
5. Reduce each step to manageable parts…breaking one at a time down to smallest possible action / next step which will give you clarity on where to even start
6. Find an accountability partner and set up clearly defined systems for ongoing action, accountability and focus
7. Live in day to day solutions consistently taking action and getting unprecedented results!

It’s that simple: A ton of potential transformed into focus, action and extraordinary results.

It all happens in the details so take a little while to figure out what is stopping you and you will be able to move forward and not disappoint yourself or others.

Have a productive day!

Coach Nancy

Is Email Management Driving you Nuts? Of Course it is!

One of the greatest distractions and necessities of life today is email. I am not telling you anything you don't know already. The question is what to do to somehow manage the tsunami and feel more complete at the end of the day.....whenever that is for you! Paul is in charge of a large media sales team and easily receives 100 (yikes!) yes 100 emails every day. Reading and responding to all of these obviously takes an enormous amount of time and he is finding much that he has to do getting pushed aside. As a result, he is working really late, working more hours than he wants to be working, seeing his family less, losing sleep and always in catch-up mode. He never feels complete because he never is! This makes him more stressed.

Reality is that, when used responsibly and appropriately, email is an incredibly valuable and essential  communication tool, so it is incumbent upon each of us individually to find better ways to manage it so it stops managing us. Agree?

Here are 3 of my favorite strategies.

They are my favorites because they have been effective not only for me but for many of my clients. Keep in mind however, that they may not work for everyone so take what you like and leave the rest.

1. Delete first!

When you open your inbox, the first thing to do is delete unnecessary messages without opening them at all. Do this before opening priority mail or anything else. You can usually tell from the subject line as to what it is. The best thing to remember is that moving messages to the trash does not delete them immediately. If you realize later in the day or the next that you need it you can always retrieve it but it is out of your sight. Company policy on this might vary so check it out.

Another great delete strategy I read about is when Jim's inbox gets out of control he sorts by name. That way the email is easily grouped from senders that he knows. If he doesn't need to respond  or keep,  he can delete many messages at once.

I LOVE my delete folder!

2. Schedule email time wisely and get your best work done

See how it works to schedule time to read and respond to emails after a long period of focused time or at the time of day when your energy and creativity are at their lowest levels. This makes the assumption that you can do higher value work at other times. It is really important to become aware of when you have the most energy and focus. Yes. I know that we are all almost "addicted" to email and the immediate gratification we get from it however it is important to recognize that all of that has serious consequences too so plan accordingly. It is so much better to feel focused, productive and fulfilled than frazzled, overworked and scattered all day.

3. Use the 2-Minute Rule

The 2-minute rule is really simple.  If it is going to take you more than 2 minutes to reply to an email or process it, put it into a REPLY folder to do later when you have planned time to work on email. You will actually schedule this time on your calendar.  Otherwise reply right away (as David Allen says in his GTD approach).

When it comes to email, why not attempt to use the golden productivity principle of touch it once? Don't  reread the same email....especially when you have to deal with dozens or hundreds every day.

Why ? Because you can then go through your inbox really fast and initially process what is really necessary while getting a good idea of what is in there.  If someone needs a quick response, take care of it right then. If an email needs more attention, you'll be able to work on it later as we said, once you have taken the time to prioritize when you are going to do it.  You then have the relief of knowing that you have processed your inbox thoroughly.

I personally like the 2 minute rule but feel free to adjust to what will work for you based on how much time you want or need to allocate to email management/processing. For example, someone who gets 50 emails a day with a two minute limit could ideally manage his email in about an hour a day....not every email takes 2 minutes. Always good to concretize.

What so many of us do is process emails one by one and sequentially respond to each email as they receive it during the day. This is a very inefficient way of managing it! Why? Because you aren't prioritizing at all.

Let's say you have 45 unread emails in your box. How do you know if email #5 is more urgent or higher priority than email #25? You won't if you spend a lot of time on each. That's why the time limit rule is so smart.

By taking inventory like this, you will soon find what emails you must deal with ASAP and which can wait and this should be very comforting and help you regain a sense of control.

I would love your comments or to learn about great strategies that are working for you these days.

Have a productive week!

Coach Nancy

Some Myths and Facts about Real ADHD: It's about time we dispel the stigma!

Dr. Thomas Brown, renowned psychiatrist and ADHD expert extraordinaire has published a wonderful list of FACTS and MYTHS about ADHD that I think are very relevant to dispelling the stigma. I feel it is so important for us to be educated vs just making assumptions that so often are just plain false.  I hope that this helps one reader to better understand what ADHD is all about. Then I will have been successful in writing this blog. MYTH: ADHD is just a lack of willpower. People with ADHD focus well on things that interest them; they could focus on other tasks if they really wanted to.

FACT: ADHD looks very much like a willpower problem but it isn't. It's essentially a chemical problem in the management systems of the brain.

MYTH:ADHD is a simple problem of being hyperactive or not listening when someone is talking to you.

FACT: ADHD is a complex disorder that involves impairments in focus, organization, motivation, emotional modulation, memory and other functions of the brain's management system.

MYTH:ADDers have overactive brains that need medication to calm down.

FACT: Under activity of the brain's management networks is typical of persons with ADHD. Effective medications increase alertness and improve communication in the brain's management system.

MYTH: Those who have ADHD as children usually outgrow it as they enter their teens.

FACT: Often ADHD impairments are not noticeable until the teen years when more self management is required in school and elsewhere.

MYTH: Unless you have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child you can't have it as an adult.

FACT: Many adults have struggled all of their lives with unrecognized ADHD impairments. They never received help because they assumed that their chronic difficulties, like maybe depression or anxiety, were caused by other impairments.

Very interesting...eh? It is really all about brain wiring and body chemistry. Definitely NOT a moral issue!

Feel free to spread the word!

.....And don't forget to have a productive day!

Coach Nancy

Putting Off Procrastination!

If you are like me, you have found yourself putting things off and heard that nagging voice talking to you. You know what I mean. You know that "should" voice. There are many reasons we procrastinate from lack of commitment to confusion to shame. Many of us have trouble getting started if the first step in the plan/process is too big. The antidote is to break the project into smaller, more manageable chunks. If there is too much on the plate, we resist taking action.  Commitment to a high priority plan leads to action every time.

Avoidance and procrastination are often interchangeable. We avoid doing things that make us feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, afraid; like a "perceived" confrontation which could simply be nothing more than a conversation I need to have with my boss.

I coached an MBA who hadn't filed his taxes in seven years because he couldn't get the paperwork mobilized. He was procrastinating because he didn't even realize that what he needed was an accountant! Plus his boxes of receipts were stored in many locations and he was terrified to face the IRS. Who wouldn't procrastinate? LOL Sound familiar? The reality is that once he stopped and we talked it through he was able to dismantle all of the parts so that each became a manageable project. Within two months he was mobilized and had a payment plan in place to take care of business. If he could do it, we all can! Just a matter of learning how.

A few simple tips for what to do about our own procrastination:

• Assign a specific time to do one baby step: vagueness will get you more procrastination. "This week" or "later" doesn't cut it. Be specific about WHEN you are going to do it.
• Narrow your focus to ONE task. This is the antidote to being overwhelmed by everything we have to get done all at once which actually immobilizes us.
• Think of the benefits and what it will be like to get something started- or even finished. Think of the pain you are in right now because you are procrastinating and what that is costing you.
• Make it about progress and not perfection or as a client of mine used to say "Progress IS perfection". Perfectionism will stop us every time. This is about "good enough" and being perfectly imperfect.
• Reward yourself by treating yourself kindly and gently just like you would a friend who ran the marathon.

Here's to moving ahead in all of the places you are stopped.

Have a productive day!

Coach Nancy